tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3751617353797227212.post2165460672539698682..comments2022-11-25T14:15:58.940-07:00Comments on Choosing to Choose the Right: How I Met My WifeMikehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10477236609978496716noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3751617353797227212.post-58564539265112272792008-12-04T13:56:00.000-07:002008-12-04T13:56:00.000-07:00MIKE: I thank you for sharing your story of how y...MIKE: I thank you for sharing your story of how you met your wife. <BR/><BR/>As for sharing with your wife this blogging world and community, all I can say is I don't know how to say to my wife the words Bravone scripted for you. <BR/><BR/>Scott has driven me crazy with his request to get me to open up to her. I think maybe my blog has become too important for me. I'm fearful that knowing my wife is reading, my blog will be come sanitized and safe for Sunday School lessons (and maybe it should be) but that isn't what I want my blog for. <BR/><BR/>So, if you figure it out, please pass on your insights, because just saying it doesn't work for me.<BR/><BR/>Best wishes.Beckhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06159223254071653666noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3751617353797227212.post-86872227906659827662008-12-03T21:19:00.000-07:002008-12-03T21:19:00.000-07:00Just for the record, Scott and I are far from perf...Just for the record, Scott and I are far from perfect. I'm honored that you would view us as such.<BR/><BR/>I started writing a comment to you about my experience with being introduced to the queerosphere. My comment was getting really long, so I turned it into a <A HREF="http://serendipitystr8wife.blogspot.com/2008/12/thoughts-on-entering-queerosphere.html" REL="nofollow">blog post</A> instead.<BR/><BR/>I hope it helps. I think opening up to her in every way is a really good thing. Good luck. I hope it goes well. We will all look forward to reading about the outcome!<BR/><BR/>(By the way, thank you for this post. It got me blogging and reflecting, which got me out of the depression I had sunk into today, not about the gay thing, but just every-day life events.)Sarahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08765524620705643823noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3751617353797227212.post-48496816887905169132008-12-03T18:11:00.000-07:002008-12-03T18:11:00.000-07:00Mike:I don't know that I can do better than Br...Mike:<BR/><BR/>I don't know that I can do better than Bravone and Scott.<BR/><BR/>Keep it simple and direct. Say what Bravone said you should say, and as Scott said, make sure she knows this is a positive thing for you and will help you stay true to your covenants and to her. I can't presume to write a script for you, but I think Bravone & Scott have given you what you need.Robhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02992194211469009236noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3751617353797227212.post-82625330434781224122008-12-03T17:02:00.000-07:002008-12-03T17:02:00.000-07:00Scott: You are a lucky man to have had a wife as ...Scott: You are a lucky man to have had a wife as supportive as yours. It seems as though all you have had to do is be openly honest with your feelings and she was right there with you.<BR/><BR/>I can only hope for the best like your situation, but I am afraid that it might not be the case. I need to find ways to break it to her to help her be as supportive as possible, but I also need to allow her to go through her process as well.<BR/><BR/>Do you have any added advice on how to ease her into it? I think that I already know the answers, maybe I just need a little boost to get the ball rolling there.<BR/><BR/>Thank you for your support. I am so blessed to have found yours and Sarah's blog as you both have given me much hope for my situation.Mikehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10477236609978496716noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3751617353797227212.post-18909466284519236452008-12-03T16:57:00.000-07:002008-12-03T16:57:00.000-07:00Bravone: Thank you for your support. My biggest ...Bravone: Thank you for your support. My biggest concern is in showing her or convincing her that this brings goodness in my life and not a means for hooking up. I think that it is her biggest concern. <BR/><BR/>I think that this is the biggest challenge we face. In order for us to feel that we are understood, we feel the need to be around others in the same situation, but it is understandable that there can be danger in it. Perhaps she will feel the need to read blogs that belong to others in the family to realize the support that is happening. Of course I don't really participate in blogs who have or are in the process of leaving the church, so she should feel safe with the men I am in contact with.<BR/><BR/>Thank you for sharing your views, I hope that my wife takes it as well as yours has.Mikehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10477236609978496716noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3751617353797227212.post-23814214199106934752008-12-03T15:53:00.000-07:002008-12-03T15:53:00.000-07:00If you ever want to hear how opinionated I can be,...If you ever want to hear how opinionated I can be, just ask me whether you should keep something from your wife or be open with her. I'm afraid I've made myself a pest to a couple of friends who I think would benefit from a bit more openness. :)<BR/><BR/>Your journey will be easier if your wife shares every bit of it with you, and she will be better off knowing that you have no secrets and that you deserve her trust. I'm 100% for telling her.Scotthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15332275934258698026noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3751617353797227212.post-78330500794203756732008-12-03T15:18:00.000-07:002008-12-03T15:18:00.000-07:00Mike,I enjoyed reading your post. My wife and I a...Mike,<BR/>I enjoyed reading your post. My wife and I are going through the same things that you are experiencing. We are not at Scott's and Sarah's level of being as out and open as they are, but we have come a long way. <BR/><BR/>I told my wife that I belonged to North Star and explained how I benefited from it. Her first concern was that it might be a group where we just wanted to hook up. After explaining that the group consisted of individuals who were trying to deal with their SGA while remaining faithful to the Gospel, she felt much better. <BR/><BR/>I then told her about my "online diary." I told her it was a blog and told her the name and that she was welcome to look at it anytime she wanted. She first said that it was fine, she didn't need to look at it. She was willing to give me the space I needed. I told her nothing on the blog would surprise her. Recently she has expressed interest in becoming more involved and sharing my blog. I told her when she was ready to let me know and I will show her. I requested that I be there the first time in case she had any questions. She hasn't done it yet, but probably soon will.<BR/><BR/>She felt comfortable enough to attend Scott's event and we are heading to the Matis fireside this Friday. I think you already know exactly how to tell her. <BR/><BR/>To use your own words, "I would never give up my family to live according to my SSA. Though I am tempted with desires that do not coincide with my goals, I could never leave them."<BR/><BR/>"I don’t think that I want to keep my blog from her any longer. I know that she will feel hurt that I have kept this from her, but when she starts reading my posts I hope that she will one day know that this is a positive influence in my life."<BR/><BR/>"I want her to realize that I love her more than ever, and that I choose her more than ever so she doesn’t feel threatened by our blogging family." <BR/><BR/>Spot on. I would use those very words to introduce your blog and explain its significance to you. <BR/><BR/>BravoneBravonehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02762204502534599107noreply@blogger.com