Thursday, November 6, 2008

Marital Relations

Tonight I was doing some actual work on my laptop and my wife was sitting next to me on the couch folding laundry. She talked about an episode of Oprah today on a married couple that hasn’t had sex in years and was trying to change the situation. (For the record, this is not the state of my marriage, we have four kids 6 and under)

Anyway, both the husband and wife we asked to share a fantasy that they had about each other. My wife then asked me to share something like that with her. I was working at the time (which was nice not to have to give undivided attention) and I could not think of anything on the top of my mind. She kept waiting for an answer and after blogging experience, I was a little more comfortable to communicate a bit with her.

I said something to the effect that with my situation, my fantasies were different from other men in the fact that men were involved. I did my best to make it matter of fact, but I know she didn’t like it. I think that she was looking for something to confirm that I wanted to be with her sexually.

Anyway, she went to take a shower and I let her alone for a bit. I heard her crying and finally about 10 minutes later I joined her to reassure her.

My problem is that I have a hard time sharing this info with her, and so she is not used to it. In the past I when I have, her reactions made me more unwilling to share, and she does not want that to happen again, so she was trying not to react. We had a good talk, and in the end I needed to reassure her that she was my priority over my desires that I try to shun.

Later on I was on my laptop working on my blog and she came down (probably around 2am). I couldn’t click out fast enough. She was so upset that I would have this blog and keep it from her, and I knew that I had ruined our relationship again. She informed me that she did not want me staying at the house, or spending time with the kids.

I was so distraught, and so depressed. I couldn’t handle it.

And then I woke up.

I was lying in bed with her arms around me as she slept. It took me a few moments to realize that her coming downstairs was only a dream and nothing had happened. I had to calm down and tell myself that it was only a dream.

I am so glad that it was.


Alan said...

Wow, adrenaline spike. You have to warn us in advance dude before you do this! I was about to hit the panic button just like you were.

Not sure what else to say, other than keep on doing your best to show her that she's your priority. It's the actions that count.

Okay, heart rate, slow down, he said it was only a dream. Whew.

Bravone said...

Scared me to death. Don't do that again.

Mike said...

I know that I shouldn't be amused by scaring you, but I feel like I am in Junior High.

It was scary, and it did take me a few moments to calm down, so I was the first one scared, if that is any consolation.

Some Like It Hot said...

That was a scary dream. I was scared for you. Let's hope that never happens for real.